Shut up and Go!

I totally sucked at it, but I ran today!! Woohooooewwww. =/ 

(that is my excited-into blah noise)

 Project 365
=) Singing Wa-Oh, Wa-Oh, Stuck Like Glue!

Yep, I ran today. I made up my mind that running is what I am going to have to do to get my jiggly bits back into shape. It has worked before. I have been fighting the whole running thing for years now. Trying out different gym routines, classes (I am a Zumba addict on sabbatical), walking, eating plans, pills, diets, blah blah blah. Done. I am not going to tell any of my friends about my decision. Unless they read it here or find out about my fast feet some other way... I am not announcing anything. I've come to the conclusion that when I say to people, "I'm going to start _________," it usually never pans out. A lot of times good intentions fall to the wayside. And I am tired of being that woman. 

The only person I need to be accountable to is me. The only person who I need to declare my intentions to is me. 

And...God. 

I want to start really treating my body like a temple. Because isn't that what our bodies are supposed to be? A temple for the Holy Spirit.  That is the attitude I need. That is the NEW APPROACH I must take.
I feel like I need to be much more wordy here..and say something profound. But, really, I think I am supposed to just shut up about it...and do it. 

To see posts from my old Shrinkage Blog <== Click that.

Shrinkage was a blog that I "tried on" for a while...

Boo!

Oh, this morning wasn't pretty. My scale screamed 170 at me. What the eff! I'm totally dehydrated, but I know that jump isn't completely caused by that.
I'm soooo done with this up and down, feeling uncomfortable thing to stop. DONE. I need to just stop all the junk and start treating my body like the temple that it is. I have to. This is so terrible for me.

I haven't exercised, really, since Wednesday night. I really tore myself up doing that P90x last week. And I didn't fuel myself properly. So this week, I'm taking a new approach. More protein. P90x spaced farther apart. Zumba still. We'll see how that goes. And more water!!!!!

Boo.


TODAY'S WORK OUT

P90x legs and back.
kicked my butt.
Woo!

Ouch

HO-LEEE Crap! My muscles are SOOOOORE!
This P90x is no joke. I did the back/chest (like I said) and then the next day did Ab Ripper. It hurts to move. I've never felt discomfort like this before. I have to lean over in the shower to wash my hair because it hurts to lift my arms. Jumping around like a kangaroo in Zumba yesterday didn't help either. Not sure what the move is called...but it's a sort of leaping, traveling battement tendu..and now my hips are feeling it. I can't help but think the P90x has something to do with my tenderness because I've done the same dance at least 5 other times and never felt sore.
IT'S AWESOME!
Having been and "athletic sort" all my life, I love this feeling. Even though I'm in a pitiful hobbling state at the present. I know it means I'm working hard. And my body will benefit.

Didn't do anything active today. I slept in and read my book all day-ish. It's a rest day. Tomorrow is Zumba again. And perhaps I'll throw in some kill me now P90x. We'll see.

Day One

Gah! Today was day one of P90x. I did chest and back.... and my SHOULDERS are going to fall off now. They are. I've never been one to claim any sort of upper body strength. Now is no different. But if I stick with this stuff, the guns are mine.

So as my first official weigh in, as I begin blogging my way through this, is....

166.5. Ahhhhh!

It's ok. It's ok. I did start at 172 at the beginning of the year. I haven't lost much. But I've been in a losing frame of mind...or rather, a healthier frame of mind (for the most part.) Now I'm getting down to business. I took "before" pictures. But the cartoon will have to suffice for now. I'm chicken today.

I don't plan to do P90x every single day as the plan prescribes. I'm still going to do my Zumba classes 3x a week as usual. I love them too much. P90x is a "supplement", if you will; an addition to my regimen.
Time to chug some more water. And maybe sweat a little more cleaning the house. Maybe. ;)

the Eve

Today was morning Zumba. Madalene is my Monday & Friday morning Zumba instructor. She's my favorite. I guess she's a master instructor... which means??? She knows more moves than other instructors?? I dunno. But still.. she really focuses on what moves work which muscles and how they'll help you to burn calories.
I heard somewhere that you can burn anywhere from 700 to 1,000 calories in an hour of Zumba! I'll do some research on that and get back to ya... I swear it feels like I'm burning more.

I plan to do my first round of P90x tomorrow. I figure that with my combination of P90x and Zumba will really do the trick. If I don't see results after incorporating this... I'm gonna eat nothing but carrots and lettuce from now on. HA!

Seems like what I am eating, though, at the present time is working for me. My metab is rolling like crazy. I have that burning hungry revved up feeling in my stomach that I get when I'm on the 6 week body make over (6wbmo) program. I have been doing a modified version of it since January. But I've stalled in losses for the last few months. Sucks.

Tomorrow will be my day 1. A Tuesday. I know that's weird. Day 1 blogging my progress. So get ready for my weigh in. I'll take pictures. But don't expect to see them yet... not that anyone is reading this anyways.

Hello Again

I am one of those people that knows exactly what to do to lose weight and maintain a healthy body. I know how to eat right. I know what foods work with my body... I LOVE exercise.
But I also love food.
Pizza.

So.....I am also one of those people that battle back and forth, up and down hill after hill on the weight loss/ healthy body roller coaster.

It's freakin frustrating. WHY can't I just get and maintain the right frame of mind?

I don't have the answer to that. Maybe I just need to stop making excuses and WORK.
I guess taking it one day at a time is best... I have to work on that.

I think I'm going to try P90x. A friend of mine has it and is gonna let me borrow it. We'll see. I'm excited for it. I love exercising.
Currently, I'm taking Zumba classes 3x a week. You'd think that would be enough. But it doesn't really engage my muscles like I need. It's a great calorie burn and super fun. I love dancing. This is the first work out that I've stuck with over a long period of time. I'm more of an exercise grazer. But I'm willing to give this P90x a go. 90 different days of working out with it...
I'm gonna record daily here and ((probably)) post up progression pics. Hopefully next week I'll get to start. We'll see... just have to get it from my friend.

My "new approach", as mentioned before, will be employed again. It's ridiculous how easily prayer and faith can be pushed aside in the pursuit of a hot body. I guess it's vanity getting in the way. But I do believe that The Lord and my faith and trust in Him will be key to my achieving my goal.
So...

Lord,
Help me to keep you first and foremost in my mind. Help me to be faithful in prayer and faithful to myself in working toward a healthier body. I know that with you as my strength, it will happen. And I thank you for that.
~Amen~


and I say again


Lord,

Please help me to stay focused. Give me the drive and want and strength to see this through. Please help me to be ardent in my task. Please help me to seek you when I feel like eating things that are not healthy for me. Please help me to be faithful in my exercise. I know that it will make me stronger.
I have been living selfishly and lazily for far too long and am unhealthy and uncomfortable because of it. Please forgive me for putting things into my body when I know that they are not good and nourishing.
Please help me each day to keep my eyes on you and to put my faith in you. I know you will bring me through this.
I pray these things in Jesus' name.
Amen

Yes

Things have been alright. I seem to be on the road to shrinking finally. The inches are whittling. The ##'s are slooooooooooooooowly reducing. I am happy. Keep this up.

Patience is not my middle name.

It gets really frustrating being patient. I hate waiting and have really become one of those people that wants instant gratification. I've done my share of diets that really and truly do yield fast and substantial results. But I've always just regained because they deprived me so much. When you get to finally have the stuff that you'd been avoiding for so long, you...or, should I say... I, almost always just go overboard.

I know it can't be good for my body to go through all these ups and downs. Pills and no pills. No carbs, no fat, no sugar.

The realization I've come to is that I just have to do it the "old fashioned way." Eat smaller portions, eat mostly better foods, and exercise a lot.
Why is that so hard to do? Really? I don't get it.

I remember back in High school...when I joined the track team...
I was a bit chubby before that. But as soon as I put some intense exercise- jogging, weights and a general mix of movement- I started shedding weight like crazy.
I hadn't changed my eating habits at all. I had brownies and pizza every single day for crying out loud.
But looking back I guess that I did generally eat much better then.
I'm so tempted to put my high school diet to the test. And by diet, I don't mean "lose weight diet", I mean my eating routine.
Granted, I do keep in mind that my body has gone through some major changes since my brownie days. It been 10 years, I've had two kids, and put my metabolism through the ringer. My chemistry is bound to be different.

It's just that this is only thing I can remember actually working for the long term... in my case anyways. All the healthy eating diets I've tried don't yield long term results for me. And it's mostly my own fault. A person can't realistically expect to maintain a comfortable, slim body and eat pizza and fries and burgers and ice cream 5 out of 7 days a week.

I know all of this. It's so stupid. I know exactly what I need to do to lose this extra uncomfortable weight and really keep it off... I know. I know.
But why is it so effin hard?

A new approach.

Lord,

Please help me to stay focused. Give me the drive and want and strength to see this through. Please help me to be ardent in my task. Please help me to seek you when I feel like eating things that are not healthy for me. Please help me to be faithful in my exercise. I know that it will make me stronger.
I have been living selfishly and lazily for far too long and am unhealthy and uncomfortable because of it. Please forgive me for putting things into my body when I know that they are not good and nourishing.
Please help me each day to keep my eyes on you and to put my faith in you. I know you will bring me through this.
I pray these things in Jesus' name.
Amen

Comfy Dory Gym

Walking into a new gym for the first time is always a different kind of experience. I don't really find it intimidating, but it's not all comfy-dory either. (Like how I just made up a "word"?) You don't know the equipment, or the routines of the gym. You have to really look around for the machines you want to use and you can't just walk right up to the same old elliptical that you usually do. I definitely get the new kid vibe as I walk through the cardio room. But it's exciting.

Despite my current state of squish, I really could be a wonderful gym rat. I love the smells (minus the sweat, blah) and the sounds. I love the feel of my muscles working. And something about putting the head phones on and just ignoring the rest of the world is so comforting.
Isn't it funny, or rather, stupid- how we can fall out of doing something we love so much so easily? This realization happens to me every time I start back at the gym.

Here's hoping that I can make a good long run at it this time.

Dangerous Curves

I think I've actually started shrinking. And I didn't try yet. Well, consciously anyways. I've really and truly never been able to say that. I always have to try. Seems that lately I've been just eating less. I can't finish, nor do I want to, all the food on my plate. It's really rather wonderful. Now imagine that I TRY on top of that... I'll be a true LOSER! Wonderful!!

Tomorrow, I start to the gym. The kids are in school now. Just re-upped my gym membership. 300 classes available a week. All in the comfort of the desirable and much needed air conditioning. I have absolutely no excuse to fail, or to be absent from gym ever for the next 4 months. I'm not working, and I have nothing really to do. Laziness will equal failure. And I so want my clickity clack body back. I want my husband, who is away on business for a while, to really drop his jaw when he sees me next. Dangerous curves, here I come!

Crossing the Bridge

Being an adult means you have to make decisions. I have to make the decision to eat right and move more. I swear though that I feel like I have made those choices... except I'm not seeing them implemented in my life.
How do you cross that bridge? The one that gets you from "wanting it" to "doing it"?
I feel like that is my greatest struggle when it comes to making this journey.
I envision myself slim-ish and cute...eating apples and carrots and running and dancing and working my booty off and loving it. But it just doesn't happen for me.
After genuine solid efforts, I slack off or give in; and one sluff turns into two, and two into three, and so on.
And the thing is, I LOVE exercising. I love all the healthy foods. So WHY, then, do I find myself in this repetitive cycle of starting and not finishing?

I really just want to be healthy and feel good in my skin again. Do I just not want it enough?


We're in the middle of moving right now. It's actually a really big move. To Hawaii. The house is completely dismantled. There's stuff in places now that there shouldn't be and I'm exhausted. My body, finally, after two and a half weeks broke down and got a cold. I'm guessing it's all the dust flying around and the stress and constant movement. I'd hoped that all the moving and lifting and blah blah blah would aid my cause. But it seems to have only aggravated it. I'm now longing for the day that I'm settled again and can focus on making myself healthy.

Perhaps each day I should only focus on the current situation in front of me and make the choice to eat right or move more. Each one of those steps will get me a little further along the bridge to "doing".

But if there are any secrets to getting there... I want to know.
In the mean time, can I keep venting as I find my stride.

Beach

Beach days do not, in my present world, promote weight loss. It's a really weird thing to say out loud. Everything about the beach usually drives the slim seeker bananas. The bikinis. The gorgeous tan bodies in the bikinis. The water. The water drops on the gorgeous tan bodies in the bikinis. The shirtless frisbee throwers. The heat....
Me? I don't care... apparently. I was out at Carmel Beach the other day with family and friends. All the aforementioned intimidators were present. Well, the heat was absent, as it usually is in Carmel/Monterey. Seriously? Where is the sun, yo? Anyways, I digress.
We were all there, along with chips and cookies and hot dogs and bratwursts. I was warm and cozy in my jeans and ball cap and sweater. No skin exposure whatsoever, save the poor toe-end quarter of my foot that now has a nice sunburn for show.
I wasn't worried at all about what I looked like. Cause it was cold and windy and not motivating in the least.
But then enters the lovely picture monster. We had a great time. I hid under the umbrella most the day watching my kids and wishing I could strip down into my suit and body board with everyone. (Accutane = no sun for me.) Everyone was snapping pictures left and right. Good times. Save the cops being called on us for BBQing to far north on the beach. Stupids.
So later that night, all settled in at home I see on Fbook... more disgusting proof of the blob I'm becoming eating the way that I do. Crap.

God Does Facebook

I was skimming through my facebook news feed earlier and came across this prayer my friend had said:

Lord, in today's time when we are encouraged by the media to focus on our appearance for self gratification help us to not forget to fall on our knees to pray. Help us to see that perfection can never be accomplished and that only in our imperfection we become whole. Help us to find pride in the calluses that form on our knees as a result of prayer and not our superficial exterior appearances. Amen.


Amen! So true. I forget, as we all do sometimes, that God really does have His fingers in all of my life. Even my weight loss. If I am diligent in prayer and faithful and trusting, God will take me where I need to be. I say NEED. Not WANT. Sometimes want coincides with need. Need is definitely more important.

I think that today God is trying to reiterate to me faith and prayer. Also, in the facebook news feed, I came across another posting with a link to a blogspot page. This person had a "revelation" of something they'd known already, but sometimes forgot... a lot like me. This revelation told them to be patient and quiet and listen for God's direction and guidance in a very big life change.
Weight loss is a life change. For me it is. That blog was nudge #2 for me. Time to listen.

If God can get on Facebook to tell me He's got this, I can get on my knees to tell Him I trust Him.

Small Help

[Job] stress makes you fat right? And cold weather? And desk jobs?
I'm about to shed all those things in the very near future. So I should also, in turn, be shedding unwanted pounds too...right?
Maybe.
But I'm not counting on it...not with out some real work on my part. I do think, though, that the little bit of change in stress level and not being on my butt in the uncomfy desk chair all day will definitely help me down the road.

Babble

Yah. So I said that it was an eye-opener...that picture. And it was. But WHY-Y did I then go off and eat fast food twice!! and chocolate cake!!?

I'm about to fight myself. Seriously.
The Tyler Durden in me needs to kick the nameless narrator in me's butt.
I have no explanation, other than I simply wanted to. I guess I could sit around and feel sorry for myself or make excuses or say just how crappy I am for continuing to feed myself filth... but I also believe that I'm going to just make bad choices...consciously even.... and am going to have to come to terms with it. Today won't be the last. But damn it! I've got to make better choices for myself. I'm going to.

Gross. I just looked at the fat vs muscle picture again. It makes me want to go run a mile.


I need to find out the skinny people's secrets. How they continually say no to crap, or too much crap.

I'm going to start my Program tomorrow.

be-dunk-uh-dunk

I was never the fat stay at home mom house wife. I, of course, always wanted to lose weight but was so much thinner than I am now... as a working, busy, 40hr weeks kind of woman. Office jobs make you fat. Fast food is easier when you have to run your errands during your lunch break. Salads and veggies and forks and spoons don't fit into the driving schedule. Fried chicken sandwiches and burgers and fries. AND SODAS. Those are "better" and tons more convenient. Duh.

Gah. I read this article a while back. It listed out all the calories and fat grams there are in several different fast food meals. The calories in one burger with cheese, fries and a soda were more than a 200 pound man should consume in a day and half. The fat grams... holy crap.
Those commercials that used to run...where you'd see people going through drive thru's ordering a side of jiggly thighs or be-dunk-uh-dunk...they really hit the nail on the head.

I want so badly to have my thinnish figure back. The thin arms and non-lumpy mid section.
And I know exactly what I need to do to get it.
So what is my effing problem?

Weight loss is work. And I am being lazy. Or scared. Or... whatever.
Change is in my future. That last picture I saw...really and truly was... and eye-opener.

Begin

I was looking at pictures with my mom today. Every time I saw one of myself, I felt worse. I'm getting fat.
So I'm going to do something about it. A diary here, so to speak, will be part of my journey.